Day 10

Day 3 at The Embassy

This is a day where you will either have to go back to the embassy or in our case a day to do nothing. If you are in an upscale hotel you might introduce your child to a pool or just hang out and do nothing. Do nothing was my mode for the day. well actually I repacked all the stuff I had separating out what we will take onto the plane and what gets relegated to the hold. It is also time to settle accounts with our adoption representative.

Since we didn't have to go anywhere or be anywhere not a lot of stuff got done.

Here is what I would have done differently

1. Get photos of the many means of auxiliary power generators in use.

2. Buy the wife a whole lot more bangles – they were cheap.

3. One of the hawkers was selling brass wire geometric ball that would lay flat and then turn into a ball and then into a pot shape. I had these when a aunt and uncle travelled here 30 years ago. I was so tired that I totally blew the hawker off. I should have bought a dozen of them. If anyone goes there don't pay more than a $1 (US a piece and drive a hard bargain). If you get them I will buy them.

4. The Ginger in Delhi – stay away unless you are travelling by train.

5a. Make one trip to the orphanage. However get there as early as they would allow say 8 am and leave at 5pm. Spend the whole morning in the playroom loving on the children and letting your child warm up to you.

5b. Have a non-family member hold your child as you leave the orphanage and hold her/him for the ride to the hotel. May or may not make a difference in the bonding issue as a week later in the states we have heard from many families who have gone through the same issue as we have.

6. Take a group picture of her Miss C's room mates as soon as possible or get as much of them in a shot as possible. We thought we would have time the 2^nd day but it didn't happen.

7. Eat a lot more desserts than what we did.

8. Sit in the kitchen and learn how the pro's really cook.

What I wouldn't have done differently

1. When in Rome act like a Roman. We did not eat one bit of western style food the whole time we were there. We went native and thoroughly enjoyed the food. We did go 100% vegan and were careful with fresh veggies. You need to make sure they were not washed in tap water. Fresh juices were not on our list of drinks. Lassie, which we had in the UK, were also on our not intake list.

2. Make use of the adoption agency's in-country representative.

How to make your trip a breeze

Step 1 – Trust Mr. R

Step 2 – Enjoy the ride take it all in stride

Step 3 – expect delays see Step 2

Mr. R's contract with our adoption agency is to get you your daughter/son. However he goes above and beyond and RN & I can only encourage you to trust his judgement. I was initially going to skip the Agra part of the trip. That would have been a huge mistake on my part and I am far more the richer for realizing that I was going to be making a HUGE mistake, Mr. R's schedule for the families is right on. You have ample time to recover from the 12 hour plus time shift if you have not followed any jet lag protocol. In addition to finally meeting and loving on your child is a short immersion into the culture and history of the Delhi & Agra. There are vast cultural differences between Western and Asian society. Mr. R can help you round off some your rough edges. Time well spent.

Our Agency versus Others

Our agencies in-country representative goes over and above when it comes to your comfort, safety and trying to meet your needs. Contractually all that is required is handing over of some paperwork and directions to the orphanage. For an extremely modest fee the agency will offer the services of the representative, a car, a driver. You can also have the agency make your in-country airline tickets and even your hotel arrangements. As for hotels take a look at the internet and get a feel for what is available and then give them your price range. Agra is expensive but a nice moderate hotel The Trident (with pool and buffet style meals) is quite nice - I would stay there again. Don't go cheap in Delhi you will regret it. Getting back on track. Some agencies do not review the paperwork before it is sent to the orphanage. Our agency send the dossier to the India representative who makes sure that ALL the paperwork is correct. This is especially important when it comes to the Home Study as American home study often include stuff that does not need to be there and at other times does not include stuff that should be there.

Having an in-country rep helped extremely in going to the US embassy. Other than seeing what is in the movies, Year of Living Dangerously, The Deer Hunter, Apocalypse Now, when it comes to Embassies I had not idea what to do and the web sites were not much either. Little things like don't stand in line go right up to the local guard and get inside. By the way no electronics of any sort are allowed inside. Even once inside certain papers are given at different times. Helps to not look the fool.

Having an on-site rep means that there is direct interaction with the orphanage and the adoption agency. A relationship is built and this is very important in Asian culture.

Don't Try To Circumvent The Process

One of the pet peeves is trying to get your adoption to move quicker. The first part is controlled by you, getting your dossier together. The 2^nd part is out of your hands. The sooner you accept that the better off you will be. Some folks think that because they have contacts in India they can make the process go quicker. Don't try it may backfire, I have heard the tales, not pretty. My frustration was the time it took for one agency to get the paperwork to another, CARA to the Court. The court to get into session. Get the transcripts written up. Oh here is a kicker. There is DHL service but don't count on overnight delivery. It takes upwards of four (4) hours plus to go from Agra to Delhi. This is a mere 125 miles. Now translate that to state to state and then city to city. Being totally insensitive, I wonder how mail is delivered in the first place. Try this for an address

“1^st Floor, Vasu Complex, Above TVS Showroom, Church Road, Ramnagar Colony, Agra”

Mail gets delivered but it may take some time.

The bureaucracy of India is as big and cumbersome as the US. It all rolls at its own pace. Plan on a long haul and when things happen quicker then be thankful for the blessing.

October is not a good month for the court system. There are numerous high holidays and festivals in October so not much gets done. Even when the India side gets done you can still get hung up on the US side. Our adoption is inter-state that means there has to be a compact between the state where the adoption agency has its home office and the state of California.

For what amounts to three (3) signatures for the ICPC took what I thought was too much time, but hey that is just my humble opinion. What could I do – nothing, see Step 3.

je

Simon – hope you like the food shots the wife is getting tired of me taking these...

Day 9

Day 2 at The Embassy, The photo above is wrong

or

A 2 ½ Year Old's Meltdown

The only problem I see with our Visa is that instead of no last name the embassy has used her first name as her last name and for her first name they put down FNU (making a guess - first name unknown)

Tonight is filled with hindsight for what happened this afternoon. Camille has decided she does not like RN and has refused to go to her. In an “Ah Hah” moment I realized it is because it is RN who carried her to the car and held her as we drove to the next city where the hotel was. It was RN who took her away from her house mother and all her friends. After a nap camille was crying and could not be consoled. She stopped when I held her but then pointed to the outside. So we went out on a balcony and that held her attention for a5 minutes then she pointed farther out as if she wanted to go for a walk. The first time I took her in my arms and we went around the block. When we came back to our starting point she pointed in the opposite direction. Walking in the heat of the day, even if it is winter time, is not what I would call fun. So we went in for a while while I re-hydrated and cooled off. About an hour later the tears came and again she pointed outside. Thinking that she just loves the stimulation of the non-stop horn honking and hustle and bustle of the traffic I said ok let's go. this time though I pulled out “The ERGO Baby Carrier”. You can use this carrier as a back, side or front carrier. Again she pointed in the direction to go and off we went. About an hour later we came back. A short nap was taken. After she woke up and had a snack she started her crying again. RN tried to pick her up but Camille was having none of it. So I picked her up and again she pointed to outside. Makes sense now with hindsight doesn't it? We still had not figured out what was going on. So I loaded her up in the carrier and this time she pointed in another direction and off we went again. We saw many things on our trip. Dogs, cows, men getting a shave, hot cooked food, raw sewage, crows but no penguins. On our final trip today we went further out than before. I think we did about 4 or 5 trips today. It was getting to be 1800 hrs and the sun was going down and there was no way I was going out into the streets without another adult. RN was sleeping so I woke her up and said it was time for her to hold Camille as we had bonded all day. She just about flat out refused. I told her to take her as she needs to bond with both of us. RN was really hurt by Camille's action. It is then that I realized that Camille didn't want to necessarily go for a walk but was trying to find her way back to her old home. It has now been an hour and she is still crying but it is slowly getting better.

My Whole World Lies Waiting Behind Door Number 16

So we pays our $$, 4 nice crisp 100 bills large face. I find out that other countries do not charge for a Visa if you are adopting. I guess the embassy needed my $ to help finance the remodelling. Too bad that as a citizen of the US I couldn't even get a brief tour of the place. Let alone take a photo for posterity. So window 16 is 90 degrees from where we dropped off the I-600 yesterday. Today we drop off the sealed doctors envelope and our DS-230 Visa Application and again we kinda go to the head of the line. It is a bit like a jack in the box we go up to the window and then go back down to some chairs. Each time we go up we get a different agent. Finally they tell us to come back at 4pm. Gee I am thinking that is kinda late. If something is screwed up it means we will need that 3^rd day to get it fixed. Oh what joy.

Moto-Bikes

I took a few shots of various motorcycles. The current popular is a Bajaj, and HeroHonda which seems to be a brand of Honda that is only available in India. I also saw a few Royal Enfields, cool looking bikes very British. The typical size is 100 cc but there is a growing trend to something a little more sporty, 150 cc. Did not see any big bikes. Probably because the top speed between Delhi and Agra ( two large cities that we traversed a couple of times) is barely 100 kph. Get this it takes a minimum of 4 hours to go 125 miles. Talk about traffic jamb.

Three Wheelers

Most of the 3 wheelers aka rickshaws are either diesel powered or run on Compressed Natural Gas. Didn't get a real up close look at them but I did notice a fun way to shift. The left handlebar is similar to the right. The right is the throttle – no problem there. The left twists just like the right and is the gear selector.

Traffic Laws

I am sure there are some but I think they are mere suggestions. In one section there was clear markings for a 4 lane road (each way), I counted 8 vehicles abreast going the same direction. Clearance was usually 2 to 4 inches. Often times we had cars and moto-bikes coming the wrong direction. People ignored red lights. In fact if everyone went against the red then that the way things went. Oh, never mid that there was a traffic cop sitting at the intersection just watching the parade but not making an effort to lead it.

Embassy

We get back to the embassy at the appropriate time and go up to the window and they say, “Who told you to come back at 4 you should come back tomorrow” We politely tell the agent that the nice agent behind the window, you colleague, asked us to come back today at 4 to pick up our visa. “go sit on the chairs”. So we wait and a ½ hour later are called up to the window. we answer a few questions and viola before 5pm we have a visa.

You have got to be kidding me. As we are walking away I notice that Her passport clearly states she has no last/surname but has a first name. The bureaucracy that is the American Government has issued a visa with No First name but a Last/Surname of Anurita. I show this to our adoption representative and ask if I should get this corrected? He looks at me as if I asked him to fly to the moon. He says take the passport and run! Well as long as I get her into the US and get her adopted then I am not going to worry about it....... too much.

je

Stand By

Well pick up a toddler and watch the mayhem begin. Take her to an Embassy and try to keep her occupied. Wait a few more days and I will get what happened posted. In a few weeks maybe sooner I will add the photos. Couldn't get any of the Embassy as it is not allowed. Was thinking of doing a drive by but didn't want to risk the wrath of a guard or Shiva They both look similar.

je