The Health Insurance Blues

Back in November of last year I called our health insurance plan and asked them about what paperwork I needed to give them to get our daughter on our health plan. I am quite sure that I told them that we would be getting a court order that gives us guardianship of her from an Indian court. They said all we needed to send was the court papers. Oh sweet hindsight. I should have gotten that in writing. A week or two before we took her to the doctor I sent in the papers as requested to get her put onto our policy. After that battery of tests we were reported to the county health department due to that little contagious stomach parasite. The Doc wrote a scrip for it which we tried to get filled at our favourite pharmacy. About 6 hours later I get a call from the pharmacy telling me that the system is kicking out the scip saying she is not on file. Humm no insurance means $95 out of pocket rather than a mere 7 to 20

Dang, we are talking 3pm . A quick call to the agency gets me a nice person that tells me oh yeah we sent you a letter just yesterday (thursday) telling you that we have denied your request because she is not adopted. I said no you are right she is not however I have a court order that gives me guardianship thus making me her sole provider for her well being from providing a roof over her head to filling her empty belly. well they said we need a US court order we don't recognize non-US courts. Huh, well that is odd, the US Customs and Integration Service recognized that court order and has given her permission to live with us, the US Embassy also recognized that little piece of paper and gave me a Visa that grants residence and citizenship in the US. And yet you do not recognize her!

A call to our adoption agency said take it up with the California Department of Insurance. They were unable to help as I think they deal with all insurance but health. All was not lost as they pointed me over to the California Department of Managed Healthcare (www.hmohelp.gov). The reposne I got was WOW! You definitely have a case here with possibly punitive damage. So he started taking my info. We get to my insurance card number and he says oh well here is bad news. You are a government employee and we are not allowed to get in it with your issuance agency. If you were still at your other company then we could have helped. You need to call the OPM (Office of Personnel Managemnt) in DC. Sorry no toll free number. Great. So I call the OPM and grr they patch me through but as that is happening the time crosses into the dead zone and gee sorry we are closed for the weekend. Awesome I go to work for the first time an a month and a half and this is on my plate.

Half of Monday is spent trying to hit upon the right department at the OPM. Ah my government at work. Shuttle her shuttle there, dropped me on hold, given wrong numbers to call. Finally I decide to call our office manager who is not located in our office but is a phone call away. Sorry she is on vacation for the day call her back-up. This gets me over to our HR department with whom I leave a message. Ok yime for lunch now and I should probably get into the 400 plus emails and 20 plus phone messages.

The next day our HR department calls me. I give her the info and she says lucky for you we can help. If you were in the private sector you would probably be working on this for a week or two. Our contract with your insurance is a bit unique. Go to page xxx and see this paragraph? That right there states that if we (your employer) says to add a dependant onto a policy they must add the dependant and there is no arbitration on this. Here fill out this application and we will code it so that it states you are FOSTERING your child. You probably confused them when you said guardian. That option is not in their code book. Foster child is in their lexicon. When you finally adopt then we will change foster to dependant.

So I get my paper back from HR with their signature an ph number. Now to hunt down and submit a few claim forms.

So what is the lesson here other than speak softly and carry a big stick?

Choose your words carefully When dealing with your Health Insurance group get it in writing and tell them you are fostering a child.

je

post signature: the Wall Street Journal had a blurb about the font that my boss for almost 10 years turned me onto Comic Sans MS. He started using this font whenever his management had him do fun-sucking work such as year end reviews, budget for the next 5 years, weekly reports... Kinda a thumb your nose at The Man font. Ends up that typesetters have a bit of Toffee Nose Snoberry in them and this font really tweeks them. cool If the link doesn't work ping me and I'll do something about it.

23 Little Tests

The wife long ago started looking and asking around at her work who they would recommend for a doctor to look at our daughter once we came home. At the orphanage we got scant information about her medical record. We got the normal height and weight and 2 cards filled with the normal childhood immunizations. One thing we were concerned with was exotic diseases that may not be seen, nor well understood here in the US. This is a valid concern as some time ago my dad was working in Guam (a US protectorate/territory) and he came back with some jungle disease that several docs could not diagnose until he hit upon the right specialist. We were referred to a specialist that deals in foreign adoptions only. He also does assessments on the child both physical and some sociological. The visit will kill a full ½ day. Yep he is local (Long Beach). We got a prescription for a few blood tests. Our next stop was the phlebotomist. They looked at the order and said – does he know how much blood this is. I had no idea. They looked at her and shook their heads. I asked if they could draw some today and some the next week. They said it would take another order. Hey no problem. They said they would draw what they could.

Since we want Camille to get a better bond with mom I got the envious position of holding her as they drew blood. It was ugly. She squirmed – she has good veins but man is she a lightweight. They needed 6 vials. After 1 and ½ they blew the vein on the right arm. After a ½ vial on the 2^nd arm that vein got blown too. Almost half of what was needed and 2 vials that did not have the required quantity. I aksed if I needed to get another order. They said they would send what they had to the la and wait for the results. I said I would be back when her arms were healed.

So what did this cost us? Camille is essentially potty trained. However mom got 4 pants filled with poop. I told her that since she can't speak English and we can't speak Oryian this was her way of saying what we did to her was shitty!

Here is the list 21 blood plus 2

CBC + Diff

TSH + T4 (Reflex to FT3 & FT4)

RPR

Venous Lead

Hepatitis A IgG

Hepatitis B S Ag

Hepatitis B S AB - qualitative. Reflex to Hepatitis B AB - quantitative

Hepatitis B core AB IgM

Hepatitis C AB (Reflex RIBA if positive)

HIV AB (Reflex Western blot if positive)

Diphtheria IgG (Post immunization titres)

Tetanus AB (Post immunization titres)

Polio neutralizing AB Types 1,2,3 (Post immunization titres)

Measles IgG (Post immunization titres)

Varicella IgG immunization titres)

Mumps IgG (Post immunization titres)

Rubella IgG (Post immunization titres)

Comp. Metabolic Panel

Phosphorus

Stool O & P (X 2 or 3 depending on lab pick-up sensitivity)

Giardia antigen

Iron studies - Ferritin, Total iron binding capacity (TIBC), serum iron

Urine- U A

So far TB is positive but I have been told that most foreign adoptions test positive because the TB serum that is administered in other countries is more strong than in the US and most of the kids react to the test. One family has a child that has been in the US for over 10 years and is still testing positive for TB although 4 years worth of X-rays shows clear lungs. I will keep a set of the x-rays for our use whether they are clear or not. The other test that came back positive is one of the stomach parasites. Drugs should take care of that.

Camp Aunt

While JE & RN were in India their two other children were picked by JE's sister and taken to Camp Aunt. Our oldest is nicknamed Kermit while our youngest is Two as in Two of Three an homage to Star Trek's 7 of 9.

The Players

Kermit age 3 going on 4

Two age 1 going on 2

FSIL, JE's older sister a principal at a local school, nickname given by RN

Buckwheat, JE's younger sister, my nickname for her, also known as FSIL but that would just get confusing here

Cousin1, Kermit's first born cousin, offspring of FSIL

Cousin2, Kermit's 2^nd born cousin

Cousin3, you figure it out

KW, a friend of the family

Mamma Dee, JE's mom

Kermit and Two -isms

09FEB09

One of the first things Kermit asked me after I arrived on Monday: “Aunt Buckwheat, are we going to fly on an airplane?”

Buckwheat: “No, we are going to drive in Aunt FSIL’s big green Suburban.”

Kermit: “Okay!” (Planes hurt her ears.)

-----

Buckwheat: “Kermit, how old are you these days?”

Kermit: “5!”

Buckwheat: “Wow! You went from 2 to 5 in one year! Did you know your cousin Cousin2 went from age 2 to 16?”

Kermit’s response: Wide eyed and silent – definitely processing that one.

------

Kermit: “Mommy, I’m perturbed.”

RN: “Why’s that?”

Kermit: “Because I’m tired”

-----

Tuesday night after JE and RN had gone to bed and I was still watching TV in the living room, Kermit walked in. I asked if she needed something. She looked at me and ran from the room straight to her parent’s bedroom. The next morning I asked her if I scared her.

Kermit: “No. You woke me up!”

-----

While I was getting dressed Wednesday morning, Kermit joined me in the bathroom. I had my hair wrapped up in a towel. I asked her if I should wear my hair like that to work. She laughed and said, ‘No!’ Two, who was nursing off her mom in the adjoining bedroom, shook her head, ‘yes’!

-----

Wednesday morning as we were all getting ready for work, everyone happened to be in the kitchen and Kermit was whining about not wanting to go to the babysitter’s house.

Buckwheat: “Hey Kermit, I have an idea! How about I go to T ’s house, and you go to work for me?”

Kermit (after pondering that offer for a minute): “Buckwheat, I’m little!”

-----

Thursday evening as Kermit, RN and Two were driving home…

Kermit: “Mommy, is our friend going to be there when we get home?”

RN: “Our friend? Do you mean Aunt Buckwheat?”

Kermit: “Yes! Is Aunt Buckwheat going to be there? Is she going to sleep over again?”

-----

While I was getting Two into her pajamas on Thursday evening, Kermit was jumping on the bed (yes, I had the ‘5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed’ song running through my head, but didn’t sing it out loud as she did not need to be encouraged). She stopped when I got done dressing Two and jumped in my arms and said, “Carry me”. So I picked her up and then scooped up Two.

Kermit: “Can you carry two?”

Buckwheat: “Yep, I have two arms!”

Kermit: “Why?”

Buckwheat: “Because God gave me two arms to carry two kids.”

Kermit: “Oh.” And you could see the wheels turning.

JE said tomorrow, Kermit will be carrying around her two baby dolls all day.

-----

RN: “Kermit, did you do that?!

Kermit: “No mommy. Camille did it. I told her not too!”

Poor Camille, already getting blamed for stuff and she is still in the orphanage.

-----

Saturday morning while I was getting out of the shower, Kermit comes in.

Kermit: “We are having oatmeal for breakfast!”

Buckwheat: “We are?!”

Kermit: “Yes! Can you make it?”

-----

Saturday morning:

Kermit: “Buckwheat, we have to say good morning to Jesus.”

Buckwheat: “Where is Jesus?”

Kermit: “In our hearts!”

-----

I think we are going to have a blast on our Grand Adventure to Camp Aunt next week!

More 10MAR09

I was ratted out twice before 6:15am on Tuesday, 17 February 2009:

#1 – While Kermit and I were brushing our teeth, she attempted to hand me her toothbrush (but due to our proximity, it seemed more of an attempt to put it in my mouth). I told her not to do that, as that was how germs and bugs were spread around. She ran off saying, “I’m going to tell my mommy!” I finish up, and Kermit comes back in followed by RN:

Kermit: “Buckwheat, you need to verify!”

Me: “Verify what?”

Kermit: “That my teeth are clean!”

Me: “Oh! Is that what you wanted? I thought you wanted me to use your toothbrush. That would have been gross!”

#2 – KW made the road trip with me. He was still laying on the couch all snug and warm in his sleeping bag.

RN: “Kermit, shhh…you woke up KW.”

Kermit: “No I didn’t, Buckwheat did!”

Kermit: “When is your boyfriend going to get up?”

Buckwheat: “KW is not my boyfriend, he is my friend.” She got a strange look on her face when I told her that I changed his diapers when he was a baby!

Driving by Coalinga on Wednesday, 18 February 2009:

Buckwheat: “Kermit there are the cows!”

Kermit: “It stinks!”

At a pit stop in Patterson, while I was changing Two’s poopy diaper:

Kermit: “That smells like the cows!” [Sad part was, it was true - Two's diaper smelled like Coalinga.]

The next day while driving to the store:

Kermit: “I want to smell the cows again!”

Too bad Kermit was asleep when Two had another Coalinga smelling load after her nap!

19 February 2009:

An attempt at ratting me out again...

Kermit: "Buckwheat you didn't squeegie down Aunt FSIL's shower!"

Buckwheat: "Aunt FSIL doesn't have a squeegie in the shower, so I couldn't!"

Kermit, looking at a picture of Cousin3 on the refrigerator:

“When is my friend coming?”

Overheard while driving to Trader Joe’s:

Kermit: “I want to see cows.”

A few minutes later…

“I saw some cows!”

Two was a horse in her past life. When changing her diaper, she will suck her belly in and then push it way out when the diaper changer is trying to tape it up! Of course she giggles all the while.

20 February 2009:

Kermit: "You scared me last night. I thought you were a stranger!"

Buckwheat: "When?"

Kermit: "When you got in my bed."

Buckwheat: "Is that because I had to climb over you?" (She was on my side, so I took the side next to the wall.)

Kermit: "Yes."

Buckwheat: "So do you want me to sleep in the other room tonight?"

Kermit: "No, just don't scare me."

Buckwheat: "Then leave me some room, so I don't have to climb over you."

Kermit: "Ok"

Kermit to Cousin1: "You ask a lot of questions!"

(Kermit has met her match - they both ask a lot of questions!!)

Kermit learned to pedal her bike today, here is what she had to say when she started going:

"I can't do it! I can't do it! I can't do it! I can't do it!"

She went about a quarter of a mile total, not being able to do it!

At the end of her bike riding lesson:

Kermit: "I have to go potty!"

Buckwheat: "Ok, let's hurry home."

Kermit: "No, here."

Buckwheat: "You can't go potty here."

Kermit: "My dad let's me go potty in my yard."

Buckwheat: "Well, this is not your yard, it is public property, and we are in front of other people's houses and those are not toilet-trees!"

Kermit was quite concerned as there are no men here.

"Who is going to do the laundry?"

21 February 2009

Cousin1 kept calling Kermit by her dad's name, JE.

Kermit: "My name is not JE!"

Cousin1: "Well you look so much like your dad."

Kermit: "But I don't have a penis!"

Two has become my little "cling-on" like Cousin3 used to be. I was telling Cousin3 about it and she said, "Well us youngest ones have to stick together!"

22 February 2009

Cousin1 and Kermit were reading together on the couch. Kermit wanted Cousin1 to close her eyes, but Cousin1 wasn't cooperating.

Kermit: "I'm going to tell your mom!"

Cousin1: "Go ahead she is sitting right there."

Kermit: "No! I'm going to tell Mama Dee."

Cousin1: "Okay."

So I called up Mama Dee, and Kermit filled her in.

Kermit to Cousin1: "Mama Dee says to close your eyes!"

She then proceeded to talk a hundred miles an hour to Mama Dee. Explaining over and over how she wanted Cousin1 to close her eyes, then she put Cousin1 in time out.

Kermit to Cousin1 while talking on the phone to Mamma Dee:

"Stop talking to me! You are disturbing me!"

Two got 3 rides on the Merry-Go-Round at Arden Faire Mall since Kermit was too scared to ride. By the third ride she had figured out when the bell rings the ride is about to start.

Cousin1 and Kermit were reading/looking at one of the Anne Geddes books:

Kermit: "That's the baby I had in my uterus!"

Kermit: "And that's the baby I had in my uterus!"

Kermit: "And that's the baby I had in my uterus!"

Cousin1: "You sure have had a lot of babies in your uterus."

FSIL: "Well she lives in LA." [Just a dig on the Octomom and doctor that did the IVF!]

24 February 2009

When putting Kermit to bed:

Kermit: “Can you stay here with me?”

Buckwheat: “I have to go get some work done. I haven’t done anything all day.”

Kermit: “Oh. Will you come check on me?”

Buckwheat: “I will come check on you in about 15 minutes, and again before I go to bed. I’ll also check on Aunt FSIL and Two before I go to bed too.”

Kermit: “Why?”

Buckwheat: “Because I’ll be the last one to bed and I always check on everyone before I go to bed and tuck myself in.”

Kermit: “Who’s going to check on you?”

25 February 2009

Buckwheat had come home from team training right at bedtime.

Kermit: “Let me smell you!”

She then jumped in my arms and buried her face in my chest for a good whiff (gross!).

26 February 2009

While at the zoo the chimpanzees were in rare form.

Kermit: “Why did the monkey pick her butt and lick it?”

Buckwheat: “Because that is what monkeys do.”

27 February 2009

Kermit to Cousin3 (who came home sick): "You sound like garbage!"

All during Camp Aunt

Two with arms raised up to me: "Mama, mama, MAMA!"

She started doing the same thing to FSIL at the end of the week.

Kermit: “Tell my dad I want my flying monkey when I grow up!”

(She is afraid of her flying monkey and other assorted animals the go flying through the air making their respective animal sounds, so JE took them to work. Seems she is starting to work through some of her fears.)

When the day arrived to drive the girls back to LA, Kermit was hugging my leg as I was getting dressed in the morning and looked up at me and said, “After you get dressed, and we eat breakfast, are you going to take us home?”

Buckwheat: “Yes. We have a long drive ahead of us. Are you ready?”

Kermit: “I want to stay here!”

Buckwheat: “Did you have too much fun?”

Kermit shook her head yes.

Buckwheat: “Maybe you can come back to Camp Aunt again.”

While eating breakfast, Kermit told FSIL she didn’t want to leave.

FSIL said basically the same thing about coming back to Camp Aunt . Then we suggested she come in the summer time so she could swim and do other fun things that we couldn’t do since the weather didn’t co-operate this trip.

Kermit: “But I don’t have a bathing suit.”

Buckwheat: “We can get you one.”

Kermit: “Okay.”

During the drive to LA, and out of the blue, this is what I hear coming out of the backseat from Kermit: “Aunt Buckwheat! When are we going to stop so you can buy me a bathing suit? And Two needs one, and so does Camille!”

And the ultimate comment when we arrived at Kermit’s house after only one stop in Kettleman City for lunch: “My butt hurts!”

Day 11

Fly Me Home

19 hours of flight time and 13 ½ hours of time changes

This is a brutal day. We arrived at the airport with over 3 hours to spare. Good thing it took over an hour to check in. After that I went to find a $$ exchanger as it is illegal to take out Indian Rupees. Hind sight here, I could have kept the rupees as they really don't go through your bags with a fine tooth comb. In fact I had about $100 worth of the script because I could not remember if our tickets included the exit fee that is charges at Delhi International Airport. I guess it did as we were not asked to pony up. We both have been suffering a bit of the Delhi Belly this past 24-36 hours. Mine is under control but RN has had to make a few runs to the loo. They take all our bags and we don't see them again until we hit US soil. nice. Our first flight takes us to the UK.

Getting through Indian customs takes another 45 minutes. Sure glad we got there early. The agent asks to see Anu's sealed envelope for the SU customs agent. He tells me he needs to see it to make sure we can get entry at our destination. He basically checks the sheet of paper that is attached to the front matches what is on her Visa. Dooh, I must have been tired. I should have taken a shot of the envelope “ Warning – To Be opened by US Customs Only” The letter had some basic info about Anu: DOB, My name and addy, a photo of her. Then it is off to x-ray and finally the waiting area. The searches are consistently inconsistent. The women go through one side and the men through another. Sometimes you can bring water sometimes you can't. Today you can't but our breast milk comes though with no hassle while doing the in-country search we were questioned and detained. We settle in for our seats the first half. The plane was late to board but we have ample time at our destination to make connections.

RN is having issues with the fact that Camille Anu is bonding with me and not her. I tell the wife to let's just get home and then deal with it. The worse part is to have a scene for the duration of the flight. Mamma's not happy.

For the first time in my life I am over Russian territory. The display units on the seats give a rough approximation. Brrrr, sure looks cold.

We have a 3 hour layover at Heathrow. Again we go through screening and almost get in without a hitch. One of our dinky water bottles has become unfrozen so is now a liquid. I had fun earlier when they wanted me to pitch out a bottle of frozen water but pointed out that their rules state liquids are restricted. In its present state it is not a liquid it is a solid and therefore allowed, can I speak to a supervisor about the rules of physics. I really hate flying. by the way I can inflict far more damage and harm with this litre bottle of frozen water than when it a liquid but that is besides the point and beyond common sense that is security in the age we live in. Oh don't get me going. Anyway our 2 cups of water is gladly confiscated and we move on.

Once again we are delayed at getting onto the plane at Heathrow but I don't care we are almost home.

So we get a scene with Camille anyway. She is done with mommy and she is done with planes. She wants to return form whence she came. Time to tough it up. An elderly couple, probably in their early 70's are clearly upset that we are in “their upscale section” of the plane but hey I paid full fare too and I cam prepared - I brought earplugs and I know how to use them! In about 45 minutes after takeoff she goes to sleep and all is cool. Of course at the top of descent she starts to cry again. Hey I note to myself I have more earplugs!. So I go to the persnickety gentleman and offer him two sets of earplugs telling him that these might make the rest of the flight more bearable for him and his wife. He proceeds to put them in. The tantrum is over in another 45 minutes.

We land fill out more paperwork for US Customs. Before we can collect our bags we have to go to a special line for new immigrants. What seems like an eternity is merely a formality. The paperwork gets stamped. The officer says welcome to the US. I go to collect our bags and now I now it was not very long because our bags have not yet arrived at the carousel. We collect our bags, and then get them scanned for contraband. Cool all our spices and masala mixes get passed through the machine without setting off the alarms. We hand in our final paperwork and are finally home! Now where did I park the car?

If someone asks me what my impression of India is I would have to tell them that I do not have an objective view/opinion as I was not there long enough to really get a feel for the country. Give me a month or two living there. Usually when I have travelled with the family (the parental unit) we spend a month or two in the country. This way you can really see what living in-country is like. Thus why I did not want to leave New Zealand and could not wait to get back to the states when we visited Italy and Sicily. I would strongly recommend you pick up a book that was given to me before my trip called Culture Smart - India. It is short and was quite helpful in coming to terms with the diversity that you will encounter (poor and destitute people begging for coin when you stop to quite palatial environs). Everyone rubbing elbows, so to speak. There is eons of history there and lots of cultural places for the tourist to see and visit. The infrastructure is what is lacking. We were on main roads between major cities but they were not connected by a substantial road like the US/UK/Europe. I do not know if the main means of getting from city to city is by train as the roads were packed with all sort of conveyance. The electrical grid is not stable as there are frequent brown outs and some appliances are hooked into individual signal conditioners so they don't get fried. The natives do not drink the tap water.

One sentence to describe India.

India has aspects that gives it the identity of a third world country and yet is in the midst of a post industrial economy.

As the Chinese have Yin and Yang, India has Karma and Dharma.

Stats

I have not yet done up the total cost of the adoption, it hurts to think about it. Let's just say the savings account is about empty. I am quite sure that we have hit $35K. We left$2600 in cash in India and the UK. India took $400 for the embassy, $1500 for the adoption agency, another $100 for the airport tax ( converted to INR) so that leaves about $600 unaccounted for and yet I know I have it marked down on paper I just have to tally it.

Here is a good one. From the time that we first started contact with our agency to when Miss C touched US soil we have over 880 emails between us and out adoption agency. It is not over yet as there will be follow ups and frequent check-ins. I don't know about other agencies but we knew that this would be a lifelong commitment between us and the adoption agency. As such we a strong friendship has been nurtured and will continue long into Camille's life. How cool is that?

What is next for the blog

I go back to work in a couple of weeks and so like the first blog it will probably be an update once a month. I have been asked to continue blogging about the trials and tribulations of actually adopting Camille in the state of California. I alluded to the steps required in an earlier entry on the other blog site. Now I just need to figure out if I go back and add to the old site or add onto this blog, Camille's Big Trip Home

je

Question 2U

The subject of this blog is about done. I have one more day which is the trip home - not much there. The next big subject is about the paperwork to adopt in California. Is there interest in me writing about that or shall I end it with our landing in the states? Feedback would be appreciated.

je

Day 10

Day 3 at The Embassy

This is a day where you will either have to go back to the embassy or in our case a day to do nothing. If you are in an upscale hotel you might introduce your child to a pool or just hang out and do nothing. Do nothing was my mode for the day. well actually I repacked all the stuff I had separating out what we will take onto the plane and what gets relegated to the hold. It is also time to settle accounts with our adoption representative.

Since we didn't have to go anywhere or be anywhere not a lot of stuff got done.

Here is what I would have done differently

1. Get photos of the many means of auxiliary power generators in use.

2. Buy the wife a whole lot more bangles – they were cheap.

3. One of the hawkers was selling brass wire geometric ball that would lay flat and then turn into a ball and then into a pot shape. I had these when a aunt and uncle travelled here 30 years ago. I was so tired that I totally blew the hawker off. I should have bought a dozen of them. If anyone goes there don't pay more than a $1 (US a piece and drive a hard bargain). If you get them I will buy them.

4. The Ginger in Delhi – stay away unless you are travelling by train.

5a. Make one trip to the orphanage. However get there as early as they would allow say 8 am and leave at 5pm. Spend the whole morning in the playroom loving on the children and letting your child warm up to you.

5b. Have a non-family member hold your child as you leave the orphanage and hold her/him for the ride to the hotel. May or may not make a difference in the bonding issue as a week later in the states we have heard from many families who have gone through the same issue as we have.

6. Take a group picture of her Miss C's room mates as soon as possible or get as much of them in a shot as possible. We thought we would have time the 2^nd day but it didn't happen.

7. Eat a lot more desserts than what we did.

8. Sit in the kitchen and learn how the pro's really cook.

What I wouldn't have done differently

1. When in Rome act like a Roman. We did not eat one bit of western style food the whole time we were there. We went native and thoroughly enjoyed the food. We did go 100% vegan and were careful with fresh veggies. You need to make sure they were not washed in tap water. Fresh juices were not on our list of drinks. Lassie, which we had in the UK, were also on our not intake list.

2. Make use of the adoption agency's in-country representative.

How to make your trip a breeze

Step 1 – Trust Mr. R

Step 2 – Enjoy the ride take it all in stride

Step 3 – expect delays see Step 2

Mr. R's contract with our adoption agency is to get you your daughter/son. However he goes above and beyond and RN & I can only encourage you to trust his judgement. I was initially going to skip the Agra part of the trip. That would have been a huge mistake on my part and I am far more the richer for realizing that I was going to be making a HUGE mistake, Mr. R's schedule for the families is right on. You have ample time to recover from the 12 hour plus time shift if you have not followed any jet lag protocol. In addition to finally meeting and loving on your child is a short immersion into the culture and history of the Delhi & Agra. There are vast cultural differences between Western and Asian society. Mr. R can help you round off some your rough edges. Time well spent.

Our Agency versus Others

Our agencies in-country representative goes over and above when it comes to your comfort, safety and trying to meet your needs. Contractually all that is required is handing over of some paperwork and directions to the orphanage. For an extremely modest fee the agency will offer the services of the representative, a car, a driver. You can also have the agency make your in-country airline tickets and even your hotel arrangements. As for hotels take a look at the internet and get a feel for what is available and then give them your price range. Agra is expensive but a nice moderate hotel The Trident (with pool and buffet style meals) is quite nice - I would stay there again. Don't go cheap in Delhi you will regret it. Getting back on track. Some agencies do not review the paperwork before it is sent to the orphanage. Our agency send the dossier to the India representative who makes sure that ALL the paperwork is correct. This is especially important when it comes to the Home Study as American home study often include stuff that does not need to be there and at other times does not include stuff that should be there.

Having an in-country rep helped extremely in going to the US embassy. Other than seeing what is in the movies, Year of Living Dangerously, The Deer Hunter, Apocalypse Now, when it comes to Embassies I had not idea what to do and the web sites were not much either. Little things like don't stand in line go right up to the local guard and get inside. By the way no electronics of any sort are allowed inside. Even once inside certain papers are given at different times. Helps to not look the fool.

Having an on-site rep means that there is direct interaction with the orphanage and the adoption agency. A relationship is built and this is very important in Asian culture.

Don't Try To Circumvent The Process

One of the pet peeves is trying to get your adoption to move quicker. The first part is controlled by you, getting your dossier together. The 2^nd part is out of your hands. The sooner you accept that the better off you will be. Some folks think that because they have contacts in India they can make the process go quicker. Don't try it may backfire, I have heard the tales, not pretty. My frustration was the time it took for one agency to get the paperwork to another, CARA to the Court. The court to get into session. Get the transcripts written up. Oh here is a kicker. There is DHL service but don't count on overnight delivery. It takes upwards of four (4) hours plus to go from Agra to Delhi. This is a mere 125 miles. Now translate that to state to state and then city to city. Being totally insensitive, I wonder how mail is delivered in the first place. Try this for an address

“1^st Floor, Vasu Complex, Above TVS Showroom, Church Road, Ramnagar Colony, Agra”

Mail gets delivered but it may take some time.

The bureaucracy of India is as big and cumbersome as the US. It all rolls at its own pace. Plan on a long haul and when things happen quicker then be thankful for the blessing.

October is not a good month for the court system. There are numerous high holidays and festivals in October so not much gets done. Even when the India side gets done you can still get hung up on the US side. Our adoption is inter-state that means there has to be a compact between the state where the adoption agency has its home office and the state of California.

For what amounts to three (3) signatures for the ICPC took what I thought was too much time, but hey that is just my humble opinion. What could I do – nothing, see Step 3.

je

Simon – hope you like the food shots the wife is getting tired of me taking these...

Day 9

Day 2 at The Embassy, The photo above is wrong

or

A 2 ½ Year Old's Meltdown

The only problem I see with our Visa is that instead of no last name the embassy has used her first name as her last name and for her first name they put down FNU (making a guess - first name unknown)

Tonight is filled with hindsight for what happened this afternoon. Camille has decided she does not like RN and has refused to go to her. In an “Ah Hah” moment I realized it is because it is RN who carried her to the car and held her as we drove to the next city where the hotel was. It was RN who took her away from her house mother and all her friends. After a nap camille was crying and could not be consoled. She stopped when I held her but then pointed to the outside. So we went out on a balcony and that held her attention for a5 minutes then she pointed farther out as if she wanted to go for a walk. The first time I took her in my arms and we went around the block. When we came back to our starting point she pointed in the opposite direction. Walking in the heat of the day, even if it is winter time, is not what I would call fun. So we went in for a while while I re-hydrated and cooled off. About an hour later the tears came and again she pointed outside. Thinking that she just loves the stimulation of the non-stop horn honking and hustle and bustle of the traffic I said ok let's go. this time though I pulled out “The ERGO Baby Carrier”. You can use this carrier as a back, side or front carrier. Again she pointed in the direction to go and off we went. About an hour later we came back. A short nap was taken. After she woke up and had a snack she started her crying again. RN tried to pick her up but Camille was having none of it. So I picked her up and again she pointed to outside. Makes sense now with hindsight doesn't it? We still had not figured out what was going on. So I loaded her up in the carrier and this time she pointed in another direction and off we went again. We saw many things on our trip. Dogs, cows, men getting a shave, hot cooked food, raw sewage, crows but no penguins. On our final trip today we went further out than before. I think we did about 4 or 5 trips today. It was getting to be 1800 hrs and the sun was going down and there was no way I was going out into the streets without another adult. RN was sleeping so I woke her up and said it was time for her to hold Camille as we had bonded all day. She just about flat out refused. I told her to take her as she needs to bond with both of us. RN was really hurt by Camille's action. It is then that I realized that Camille didn't want to necessarily go for a walk but was trying to find her way back to her old home. It has now been an hour and she is still crying but it is slowly getting better.

My Whole World Lies Waiting Behind Door Number 16

So we pays our $$, 4 nice crisp 100 bills large face. I find out that other countries do not charge for a Visa if you are adopting. I guess the embassy needed my $ to help finance the remodelling. Too bad that as a citizen of the US I couldn't even get a brief tour of the place. Let alone take a photo for posterity. So window 16 is 90 degrees from where we dropped off the I-600 yesterday. Today we drop off the sealed doctors envelope and our DS-230 Visa Application and again we kinda go to the head of the line. It is a bit like a jack in the box we go up to the window and then go back down to some chairs. Each time we go up we get a different agent. Finally they tell us to come back at 4pm. Gee I am thinking that is kinda late. If something is screwed up it means we will need that 3^rd day to get it fixed. Oh what joy.

Moto-Bikes

I took a few shots of various motorcycles. The current popular is a Bajaj, and HeroHonda which seems to be a brand of Honda that is only available in India. I also saw a few Royal Enfields, cool looking bikes very British. The typical size is 100 cc but there is a growing trend to something a little more sporty, 150 cc. Did not see any big bikes. Probably because the top speed between Delhi and Agra ( two large cities that we traversed a couple of times) is barely 100 kph. Get this it takes a minimum of 4 hours to go 125 miles. Talk about traffic jamb.

Three Wheelers

Most of the 3 wheelers aka rickshaws are either diesel powered or run on Compressed Natural Gas. Didn't get a real up close look at them but I did notice a fun way to shift. The left handlebar is similar to the right. The right is the throttle – no problem there. The left twists just like the right and is the gear selector.

Traffic Laws

I am sure there are some but I think they are mere suggestions. In one section there was clear markings for a 4 lane road (each way), I counted 8 vehicles abreast going the same direction. Clearance was usually 2 to 4 inches. Often times we had cars and moto-bikes coming the wrong direction. People ignored red lights. In fact if everyone went against the red then that the way things went. Oh, never mid that there was a traffic cop sitting at the intersection just watching the parade but not making an effort to lead it.

Embassy

We get back to the embassy at the appropriate time and go up to the window and they say, “Who told you to come back at 4 you should come back tomorrow” We politely tell the agent that the nice agent behind the window, you colleague, asked us to come back today at 4 to pick up our visa. “go sit on the chairs”. So we wait and a ½ hour later are called up to the window. we answer a few questions and viola before 5pm we have a visa.

You have got to be kidding me. As we are walking away I notice that Her passport clearly states she has no last/surname but has a first name. The bureaucracy that is the American Government has issued a visa with No First name but a Last/Surname of Anurita. I show this to our adoption representative and ask if I should get this corrected? He looks at me as if I asked him to fly to the moon. He says take the passport and run! Well as long as I get her into the US and get her adopted then I am not going to worry about it....... too much.

je